Rebecca Dakin

There are so many factors to consider, however here’s some of the top reasons people may feel that therapy hasn’t worked in the past

• They didn’t connect with their therapist
• They weren’t ready to commit to the process
• The type of therapy was not suited to them at that moment in time
• Their expectations were off. i.e. They were looking for someone to ‘fix’ ‘heal’ them (no one can heal you, only yourself, therapy/coaching are tools, and therapist’s facilitators, guides and supporters, not magicians!)
• They subconsciously wanted to avoid change, therefore there was resistance to the process
• They sought therapy because other people told them to, not because they wanted to

From a personal perspective these are things I have over-come in therapy; binge drinking, binge drug taking, smoking weed, panic attacks, sleep anxiety, driving anxiety, fear of public speaking, narcissistic/emotional/physical abuse, dysfunctional relationship patterns, childhood trauma, sexual dysfunction, family estrangement, low confidence, lack of self-worth, negative over thinking, and that’s just a few of the positive life changes that have been the result of me investing in therapy/coaching/training and my mental health.

I offer everyone a FREE 30-minute clarity call so that we can explore what your current struggles are, and what your expectations are for potentially working with me. This is for both of us to see if we are a good fit.

My services are usually a combination of therapy and coaching and are bespoke to each client.

I have trained in Hypnosis, Timeline therapy, Hypnotherapy, Inner Child Healing and NLP and use a combination of these alongside my personal experience to help support those struggling with their mental health, relationships and current life challenges.

My qualifications are:

• Practitioner in Hypnosis
• Practitioner in Time Line Therapy
• NLP Master Practitioner
• Diploma in Hypnotherapy
• Diploma in Inner Child Healing

I don’t just walk the walk I have experienced all of these on a personal level and the reason I trained in and use these tools is because they have changed my life for the better and I am passionate about helping others do the same.

Firstly, if it were possible, that would be completely unethical, however please be assured that no one can force you into hypnosis.

The irony is that hypnosis is a trance state, and it’s one we willingly ALL get into multiple times a day, naturally! Whether its watching TV, reading, scrolling social media, driving or falling asleep all these things involve accessing a trance state, when there’s no resistance, (which is why it’s so important that we take vigilant care of what we and our children absorb). Ever notice how people’s ears seem to switch off when they’re in front of a screen? I’m thinking about my daughter and the ipad!

Forget the gimmicks you see on stage shows or TV shows, guess what? It’s all entertainment!

I can only guide people into a hypnotic state, I cannot make someone do anything they don’t want to do, therefore ALL hypnosis is self-hypnosis.

This is only one of a plethora of tools I use with my clients, however it is always with mutual trust and consent and after we have discussed various options. I make sure that they fully understand the process, before recommending any type of work together. Quite often regular coaching, evolves naturally into doing some form of hypnotherapy.

When people say “I can’t be hypnotised” it’s suggesting a belief that they think someone is doing something to them, and this is incorrect. I can’t force someone to relax, if they are determined not to! The client is always the one always 100% in control. If you’ve got any questions about any of my services, please don’t hesitate to ask or book a clarity call.

I’ll endeavour to explain in layman’s terms. Firstly, we need to understand the subconscious mind. Our subconscious is not a tangible part of our brain however it’s the part of the mind that is not in focal awareness – so the stuff we don’t think about, but know. It influences thought, beliefs, feeling, and behaviours. It's also known as the unconscious mind. Our subconscious is the tool that allows us to do multiple things at any given moment in time.

For example; think about what is happening now in your body without you even thinking about it. Your hair and nails are growing, your skin is regenerating and shedding, your organs are all fighting to keep you alive, your heart pumping blood and oxygen around the body, and now you’re reading this the brain and eyes are processing this information and maybe your hands are clutching a phone or tablet and you’re scrolling as you’re reading. Your subconscious is running the show.

Here are some things to know about the subconscious mind:

• It's a protective barrier to prevent us from being overwhelmed by the constant stream of sensory information we receive every second of our waking day.
• The subconscious mind guides automatic movements, such as those involved in learning new skills. For example, think about learning to drive a manual car. When using the gear stick in conjunction with the foot pedals with repetition the movements become automated.
• It's involved in creativity and ideas and is used as storage and a processor for divergent thinking, experiences and knowledge.
• In dream sleep it provides a platform for processing and integrating information, memories, and emotions that we may not be fully aware of in our waking life.

In hypnosis and hypnotherapy work with the subconscious part of the brain and here’s why…

It’s the driver for our behaviours and beliefs. Let me give you an example. For many years I was bullied for being ‘ugly’. The bullying came from multiple people, from different locations (i.e. my home town and school which was in a different town). My deep-rooted belief on an unconscious level was that I as flawed, ugly and socially unacceptable leaving me full of shame and self-loathing.

As I got older people would tell me I was attractive however, and on a conscious level I thought I was reasonably so, however my subconscious had already formed this very debilitating belief that I was hideously ugly. It didn’t matter how many people told me I was beautiful, gorgeous and attractive my subconscious was saying nahhhhh.

This belief manifested in my life in many forms: Low sense of self-worth, promiscuity, toxic relationships, excessive drug taking and drinking, depression, anxiety,

The subconscious doesn’t know fact from fiction only what it is repeatedly told. I had counselling however I couldn’t seem to change this negative view of myself. Working reprogramming the subconscious mind I was able to form a new belief one that was that I am of infinite value and acceptable, loveable and beautiful merely for my existence (as are we all). If you were born in the 80’s or earlier think of the reprogramming like recording something over the top of an existing video cassette. When the new beliefs are in the subconscious they are accepted as new truths.

Absolutely! Children respond really well to hypnotherapy, as they are naturally open minded. I worked as a Childline Counsellor so have experience working with children for a whole spectrum of sensitive issues and traumas.

Yes! Whatever your neurodiversity, my services can help. If you would like to discuss any issues or concerns about your personal situation, please contact me to book yourself onto a clarity call.

How long is a piece of string? This is not me being facetious or flippant, we are complex individuals with many layers and many traumas. What I will say is that to give any type of therapy/coaching a chance at being effective committing to 3-8 sessions (depending on your individual circumstances) is really the minimum.

Over the last 15 years I have personally invested in different therapists, coaches, mentors, counsellors and various therapy types, most of which I have found value in and support at a particular time in my life. I will never take the mindset of ‘I’ve had therapy so I don’t need any more’. To me it’s a journey and not a destination. I see it as maintenance (a service and MOT if you will) to speak to my therapist whenever I feel I need some extra support. This is essential due to the work I do helping others.

My job is to do myself out of a job, so to speak, and that’s what any good therapist should be aiming for after the initial agreed sessions come to a close. The idea being we help our clients access the tools they have within themselves to more effectively manage their emotions and the inevitable rollercoaster of life so they get to a point where sessions either stop because I’m no longer needed, or they become infrequent on an ad hock basis when extra support is needed.

Whatever people bring to our sessions it’s my job to hold a safe space and help them access the tools to navigate their emotions and feelings.

Here’s what I can’t do for you…

• Change the past
• Take away your emotional pain
• Wave a magic wand and make everything better
• Stop you from feeling uncomfortable feelings
• Make you feel if you don’t want to
• Make you heal if you don’t want to

Here’s what I can do…

• Help support you to make positive changes to enhance your future
• Metaphorically hold your hand through your emotional pain
• Help you access the tools you have within to heal your trauma to increase your emotional and physical well being
• Hold space for your uncomfortable feelings and guide you through processing and lovingly releasing them
• Listen with patience compassion and love to your experiences and challenges
• Sensitively explore any resistances

Many people I work with have multilayer traumas and some are affected by PTSD or CPTSD from various experiences of abuse and neglect. I’ve worked with reality TV stars who experienced PTSD from the emotional neglect of TV Production companies to people from all walks of life that experienced varying levels of childhood sexual/physical/emotional abuse and emotional/physical neglect from family members. I work with people who have been in, or are currently in abusive/toxic relationships with partners/family and friends.

My job is to hold space for my clients, build a level of trust, so that they feel supported and held in a way that allows them to open up and be vulnerable to allow them to heal, at a pace that is suited to their individual needs.

There are times when my clients feel triggered and experience an emotive response/reaction to something g that’s come up in a session, this can be directed towards themselves, someone else, or even towards me (this is known as projection). Triggers activate our fight or flight response and are the golden nuggets in therapy; the uncomfortable and often unwelcome ‘gifts’ that allow us a portal to deep healing when we choose to explore them.

My clients are always encouraged to share their feelings post session and to contact me if they need extra support.

One thing to be mindful of is if stopping sessions is the subconscious resisting change. We find it easy to make excuses to avoid things that feel bad/uncomfortable, often prioritising quick ‘feel good’ dopamine hits over long-term emotional well-being and health goals. That concert and night out may seem much more appealing than spending time and money on therapy!

If it feels uncomfortable then it’s a good thing! It means you’re out of your comfort zone, and that’s the only place that emotional growth and healing can happen.

When we go into ‘flight’ mode when feel uncomfortable it’s our subconscious resisting and fearing change.

Instead of ‘I can’t afford it right now’
How about ‘how can I afford to keep my sessions going?’

Instead of ‘I haven’t got time right now’
How about ‘how can I make time?’

Instead of ‘I’ve got too much on’
How about ‘how can I prioritise my mental health and well-being?’

Instead of ‘I don’t need to finish my sessions, I’m feeling fine’
How about ‘I’m looking at the bigger picture and building strong foundations for emotional resilience for the inevitable next time I’m not feeling fine’

I believe that whatever your personal situation, it can be beneficial for both of us, to gain some sort of closure and have a rough guide and plan for moving forwards. Whether your journey with me is 1 session or 10 sessions, I offer everyone an opportunity to have a closing session *Free of Charge* where we can explore any potential resistances (like the ones outlined above), and/or what your next steps will be. It may be that I recommend another therapist/coach/professional, some books (audio) or video content to support you, alongside some practical tips.