Doing the work I do helping support people heal from childhood sexual trauma including sexual abuse and having worked as a counsellor for Childline I am acutely aware of some of the horrific challenges some young children face and the impact it has into adulthood.

Here are 5 Essential Lessons Children need to help keep them safe from grooming and assault by child sex predators.

1. Their private parts are them only to touch in private (we need to acknowledge that it feels good when they are touched, otherwise this is something that can be a surprise when touched by someone else and can create what they may consider a positive experience). If as parents we feel shame around sex and our bodies this is projected onto our children making them vulnerable to keeping secrets.

2. Consent is NOT verbal. If something doesn’t feel right then that is their body trying to say no, and they are not consenting even if they feel pressure to agree to something which is why the next lesson is imperative…

3. Our children need to know not to ‘people please’. If as a parent you are a ‘people pleaser’ ie have trouble saying no, putting everyone else’s needs and feelings before your own, then this is what your children learn to do. A child fearful of rejection from an adult and wanting to please is vulnerable to child sexual predators.

4. Personal space and boundaries ties into consent. Autonomy is to be encouraged and nurtured if we are to facilitate human beings that don’t seek external validation or feel the need to be ‘liked’. It is not our children’s responsibility to deal with the feelings of rejection that are projected on to them when they reject a hug/kiss/physical contact from another person.

5. The law. As a child you cannot consent to being touched by an adult in a sexually intimate way, and anyone doing this, even in a playful enticing way that may feel good is breaking the law. As parents our job is to make sure that communication channels are open and that our children are NOT fearful of an emotive, reactive response when they share something they suspect, or know, to be ‘bad’.

If as a parent you are struggling with people pleasing, have shame around sex or your body or have unresolved sexual trauma, I can help.

Get yourself book on a Calendly call with me and let’s explore how I can help you heal so that you can be better equipped to keep your children safe from potential predators.